How Can We Receive More Support?

“Inviting your body to gently let go will allow you to receive more support.”

This is something close to what my yoga teacher said this morning. And as I contemplated this, I recognized how pertinent this theme is with my clients.

With chronic pain there is often an energetic of holding on or grasping in the muscle tissue. This is a dynamic that can be created from habitually signaling the body to keep going, to try harder, to go further, to give and give in the hopes of one day receiving. It can be from an array of childhood or life wounding, which signals that things are not safe, so we must clench and clench and not let go.

So often in this areas, I touch in upon a part of the body/subconscious that’s holding its breath with terror, believing that surrendering to the inhale, allowing, or letting go would truly be a death, or at the very least, cause incredible pain.

Try: closing your eyes tightly, scrunching up your face, holding your breath, and imagining pulling on an end of a rope that won’t move. This the common energetic imprint that I feel stored in these places.

Letting go is an impossibility to these parts of ourselves trained to protect and endure. And sadly, underneath this pattern is often an incredible desire for support, for relief, to be held, and to surrender. Yet simultaneously, there is the belief that no trust or support is available. That not only do we have to go it alone, but that we also are responsible for everyone else’s well being. And with this striving and pushing and clenching, there is truly no room for support to be received here. It’s a viscous cycle.

Think for a moment. Say you’re laying down in bed. When you clench your muscles tightly, you lift parts of your body away from the bed, from the support beneath you. When you allow your body to surrender, you can rest in the soft support, and actually feel how held you are.

When we have been chronically clenching against stress, pain, or old traumas, we literally cannot feel the support that is available to us.

We start to truly believe there is no support and that we are alone.

So how do we begin to unwind these deep-rooted patterns?

With a lot of patience, love, and tenderness for these parts.
With gentle coaxing, talking with them as if you’re talking to a terrified child or animal.
By acknowledging their pain, fear, anger, or grief, and letting them know it's understandable and ok to feel that way.
By noticing if you’re guarding, clenching, or forcing in situations, and if you are, inviting in breath and observation.
By asking yourself what you need and giving it to yourself.
By asking for help.

It can be a long process to undo years, if not decades, of patterning in the body. And I believe it’s our work as healthy adults to gently and slowly unwrap, untwist, and unbind the ways in which we’ve covered or warped our authentic selves to fit an external paradigm. If we choose not to, there’s an array of physical, emotional, and spiritual costs, including disconnection, chronic pain, anxiety, and inner turmoil.

I am so passionate about helping people liberate themselves from these patterns. It is not easy, and I cannot do the work for you. But I can help, and I can hold space to allow your body to start to feel safe enough to access these areas. If you feel called to this exploration of self, and of how mind and body inform one another, come in for a session, or check out some of my other offerings which are all geared towards inducing greater connection to ourselves.

I truly believe that in order to walk our way out of the outer turmoil we’ve created in the world, we have to address our inner pain. Otherwise, we will all keep manifesting this on the outside. We are powerful, creative beings. And we have the power to create more ease, peace, and love in the world. I know it's cliche, but it truly does all start within.