Between Death and Rebirth: Finding Your Worth
Tomorrow is true astrological Samhain, or the mid-point between Fall Equinox and Winter Solstice. It is the portal into the darkest weeks of the year.
Yet each year after Halloween, I watch as the darkness is quickly filled with lights, Christmas songs, and ads encouraging you to get on your Holiday shopping ASAP!
I watch as this liminal time of the unknown is quickly over-riden by a culture clinging to the light’s return at Winter Solstice/Christmas time, almost begging for it to come more quickly.
I recently watched a really cheeky IG reel talking about this phenomenon, referring to it as “Scorpio Erasure Season.” HA!! It’s so true! (As a Scorpio I very much loved this reel). Collectively we are *so* afraid of facing the darkness. We don’t want to face the painful or ugly things about life, especially how they manifest inside of us. We don’t want to swim in the unknown waters. We want direction, answers, and next steps. We want to cover any discomfort. We want LIGHT.
The thing is, the 6 or so weeks between Samhain and Solstice are the time of the in-between.
We are invited to sit with the discomfort of being between an ending and a beginning.
Between Death and Birth.
As the Earth mirrors to us how to be fallow, how to wait for right timing, we become squirmy. It is antithesis to the Capitalist paradigm we’ve been taught. The paradigm of continual forward motion, process, and doing.
We’ve been taught that it is not “good” to be unproductive.
That we’re not good if we’re not productive.
That we’re not worthy if we’re not productive.
We project this sentiment onto our own healing as well.
So much of my unworthiness story, and the unworthiness seeds I see in others, come from this belief that we’re not doing enough. That we’re not “good” unless we’re producing or succeeding or healing fast enough.
And yet the Earth offers us a different story.
Rebirth cannot be forced. Healing cannot be force.
This fold of time at the close of the year shows us that we can be fully enough, just by being with ourselves in the unknown. We receive the invitation, year after year, to linger in the liminality of these weeks, before sun is reborn at Winter Solstice, and to sit with what is yet to be born.
We have the beautiful opportunity to not take action. To sit with all the discomforts and unknowns of how things will unfold. To just be with ourselves and all that we are. To be with our innate worthiness.
To be with the knowing within that says we can just sit and be, and not do anything special to “contribute,” and not have it all figured out, and still be so worthy of love.
By allowing time for ourselves in the dark cauldron of the unknown this season, we reclaim some of our innate worthiness.
We reclaim the story that we are ok and good if we are just who we are.
And we get to alchemize ourselves into alignment with how we truly want to be reborn when the light eventually returns.